It's Killing Me.

Date: April 13, 2010, (Tuesday)
Time: 10:42 p.m. (GMT +8)
Where: in my bedroom
Now Playing: "Miracle" by Vertical Horizon

Oh men, yesterday, April 12, 2010, was one of the most horrendous days in my entire life because it is one of the most serious days I have faced in my entire life and I know, some of you are having this problem as well. Yesterday, my parents took me to Alabang Medical Clinic for an abrupt check-up for my "Adolescent Idiopathic Scoliosis". From the word "idiopathic", it means or it relates to "hereditary" or came to a previous generation. Damn, once you obtain this kind of sickness, you will keep this forever unless you want to have a greater and better life, you should take an orthopedic surgery.

It was totally horrendous all of a sudden because my mother cannot accept that it is the only way to get me cure, but not only 100%, probably 90% cured because you cannot easily bent the spinal cord straight. So, my mother and I never gave up that we can find the alternative solution because you know, in every operation, there are risks to take during the execution. It's either you have improved your life or worse, you will never get your life back by this such operation. That's what we are thinking. I know the doctors here are great, they are well-trained, it's such that we will never know the future.

My father and my mother argued about it and I just remarked to them that it doesn't matter if it is an operation or not, I will take both, the matter is I will be healed soon, enough said. I continue to suffer, experiencing back spasms, hard to breathe sometimes and more pain and misery.

And I went to PinoyExchange Forum, "What's Up Doc?" and I know there are doctor moderators in the said forum, and I have read some of my fellow victims of this tragic sickness and yeah, most of them took operation and have their life even better, some are not, and took swimming as an alternative. I saw a 29-year old lady who suffered just like me, she discovered that she had scoliosis when she was 10, after that, she continued to ease the pain at 29. Wow, I don't want to ease the pain that age, when you are in 30's having a family and a job. It's a discrimination you know.

Oh men, I just wish that I never have this kind of horrendous sickness, if you were in my situation, you will experience something that is hard to cope with some normal people and it's hard to have scoliosis, it's like a virus on your computer or laptop. First, you feel that it is safe to use, then later, there will be many worms, spyware and some Trojan Horses and you won't able to treat it unless you have an anti-virus and that anti-virus for me is the OPERATION.

"Please God, help us surpass these problems."

Time: 10:42 p.m. (GMT +8)
Where: in my bedroom
Now Playing: "Song To Say Goodbye" by Placebo.

Reading the Future.

Time: 2:52 a.m.
Place: in my living room
Now Playing: "Time to Pretend" by MGMT.

Well, it's been an emotional and irritating week for me and my family. Oh men, I don't know if I can blog this but anyway, I need to release my feelings by a conversation to this laptop and yeah, I will try to put it all together in this significant blog. Well, it was March 29, 2010, I watched the Horoscope in a morning program and the astrologist or should I merely say, the horoscope lady said that the most emotional persons in this certain are Taurus, Cancer, Virgo and Scorpio... which are the zodiac signs representing for my father, my sister, my mother and me respectively.

Well, since my father was caught on his reckless actions last year where she texted ladies for enjoyment and contentment where my mother used to work hard and tried to surpass us into poverty while my father was just going the other path. So, that's how it started and since that day occurred up to now, pure bad things happens to us. Talking about the aroma of karma. Good grief, why is this happening to us and I hate to suffer this because I don't want to see my mother or father, even my sister suffer like this, especially in my part that I should do... and speaking of that, I wonder how I can help to switch back this problem. Since this happened, we had some tons of financial problems, not to mention, tons of relationship problems in each of us. My mother was suffering a lot of damage, in financial, emotional, spiritual, everything. That's why me and my sister used to comfort her a lot but was that enough?

Because of this problem, I used to take a "Leave of Abscence", because I suffered a lot of physical damage due to my "Adolescent Idiopathic Scoliosis" and also, yeah, you guessed it, financial problems, again. I hate to say it but I need to sacrifice. I gave up a place for my sister for her education then after she graduated, I will be back to Mapua and finish my unfinished business.

Because of this hideousness of my father, we had to move to another place because of our house is surrounded now by termites and needed a renovation immediately but my cousins who are also my neighbor chose to renovate and extend their house by repairing this house so that their sons and daughters will have their own rooms. It's a bit risky and in fact, I will say goodbye to this gray wire that I called "SMART BRO INTERNET". Sheesh, I will miss everything, especially the Internet. If we go to another place, I will not surf to the Internet no more unless I will be tempt to go to a local Internet Cafe nearby.

Because of this problem, my mother doesn't know what to do next and trying to fix this all and I am having my sympathy to her and I really have no idea what is the next step and she said that we must pray to the Lord on what will be our next path and guidance. Yes, I maybe an Atheist myself but religiosity will not be gone because our mother is a true devotee to Him and we, me and my sister, were influenced greatly.

Because of this stupid and horrendous actions from my father last year, it turned all around to this. A dysfunctional, problem-prone family, less-emotional healthy group of individuals. I just wish I can think and participate on what will be our next would be. What is it gonna be? I don't want our family to end up in a downright path, I want it to reach the peak again like we used to in the past and I missed that dearly where it was all organized and superb.

PLEASE LORD, GUIDE US TO OUR PATH.

Time: 3:18 a.m.
Place: still in my living room
Now Playing: "My Shadow" by Keane.

A Very, Very, Holy Week Indeed.

---

Oh men, today, as I write this... it is Holy Monday and as usual, the headlines are in the bus terminals wherein they will go to their provinces and commemorate this week to the Lord with their loved ones. Well, last year, I was able to fasten where I just ate a dish per day and that was reeked and extremely horrendous in my point of view but anyway, a sacrifice is a sacrifice and that's how I can help. Yeah, sometimes, I am the person who is merely agnostic but sometimes I can show my religiosity and calmness to concentrate and pray. Doubts will be there always but the superiority of the Lord is everlasting.

Now, I just wonder if what can I do in this year's Holy Week? Just loafing around and do more fastening again just like the old times? I guess so but this year, we will visit my mom's long time friend and former neighbor in our former house. Just a little chat, and reconciliation. It will be on April 1 and this tweet whore and Facebook addict has got to go for 3 days of sacrifice, including for NOT visiting the sites I have mentioned in commemoration to the Filipino's yearly activity.

I am just wondering why others chose to vacate and unwind like celebrities do? I recently tweeted celebrities on Twitter about their plans on Holy Week and yeah, unanimously, they said they will go to Boracay and I said, c'mon, you GTFO there and give some sacrifice to the Lord for just one week and you can go vacate yourselves.

Another thing that is regular during Holy Week is the "Pasyon" or "Pabasa" where you will sing in it's usual tune the verses from the Bible for 18 straight hours and yes, I will not do that but I can try if I am interested for about when I get on 40?

So, this week is the scared week of the year. Please give respect to this week and please, give some time to the Lord for just one week because he saved us from our sins and we must give back to Him.

"I maybe sometimes an atheist but sometimes I can have that religiosity in me."

"The Lord protects and defends me; I trust in him. He gives me help and makes me glad; I praise him with joyful songs." --- Psalm 28:7.

"The Event", Manny Pacquiao vs. Joshua Clottey: Speed vs. Durability.

Well, today was another great day for me because it is Pac-Man Day for all Filipinos. One of my Twitter friends said that March 13, 2010 was "Happy St. Pacquiao's Day; parodied version of the "Happy St. Patrick's Day". Well, I was curious on the Cowboys Stadium in downtown Arlington in the state of Texas, in the United States of course. I was curious of everything. Most of the people, even the trailer of the "The Event", which Top Rank made, it is a combination of the Colosseum in Rome, Italy and the You know, the capacity crowd, the ring, oh, also, especially this one, I was oh-so curious about the 180-feet wide screen and I was expecting to see the Philippine flag waving in that said wide screen but never saw it throughout the Pay-Per-View.

So, I was watching the said card with my dad and we have that culture that we will go to every Pacquiao fight together with the massive audience of our beloved city, Muntinlupa. Also, I get so irritated with the coliseum barker inside wherein he called the candidates to remember their achievements to implement this project, SHOW PACQUIAO PPV. Damn, why do people care about it so much anyway?

Moving on. We went there at 8 in the morning and it is obvious that the PPV will start at approximately 9 in the morning because the stage is in Texas, not in Las Vegas and we know that the United States is a huge country so, different timezones plus, Daylight Savings Time.

It sure had a great under card fights on that day.Oh men, John Duddy of Ireland beating Michael Medina? Wow. Alfonso Gomez destroyed Jose Luis Castillo? Yes. David Diaz got owned by Humberto Soto? Yeah.

But here comes "The Event". All of us were screaming and saying a lot of bad and unnecessary words inside. There were a lot of average Filipinos inside and I think I am the only critical human being inside. Oh men, the irony. Clottey usually did his dancing when he entered the ring. Filipinos were very sarcastic and close to being racists when Clottey arrived on the ring. When Manny arrived, it was oh-so epic.

The fight was on. I gave credit to Joshua Clottey because he is an underrated boxer and he had that tight defense covering his whole head and Manny cannot hook him or give a stiff jab or more stiff jabs but if you apply defense into basketball, if you play defense, without shooting, it's a nil so, that's what Clottey executed in the fight. No combinations at all, just wild jabs and uppercuts but Manny gave him a good fight.

Manny Pacquiao won via Unanimous Decision over Joshua Clottey to retain the WBO Welterweight Championship and the Ring Magazine #1 pound-for-pound title. What's next for Manny? Is he ready for the arrogant Floyd Mayweather who will face the pressure on Shane Mosley on May 2?

Also, I did now see the Philippine flag on that 180-feet wide screen. Thanks to a copyrighted video from YouTube.

Everything Alternative.

Well, just like the six billion people and others en-counting, living in this world, I am just like one of them who are truly obsessed with music because we all know that "Music is Life". Without music, it's like we are all gonna die by a "Global Cataclysm", taking our minds and soul of boredom for everlasting life. Well, I am a fan of music seventeen years ago and still hearing it at this very moment and take a note that I will be an avid fan of Alternative music forever because what I like about this genre is that the way the music plays, it brings some soothingness within my two critical ears.

I can make a list out of it. Come on, Keane, Coldplay, Muse, Placebo, The Killers, The Fray, Vertical Horizon, Snow Patrol, The Script, The Cure, Oasis, Travis, U2, Interpol, Blur, R.E.M.;... come on... this genre is where the best of the best artists play, in this genre. Unanimously, it's Britpop that I liked most when it comes to sub-genres of the Alternative genre.

From the past five years, I have listened to hundreds and hundreds of artists and truly, it was a big turn around. I was influenced by my classmates to emotional rock, where a lot of screams and growls mostly heard in most of the songs, during my junior year in high school but it turned lopsided and decided to sooth my ears to different genre and that's where the Alternative genre comes into play.

If I can check my memory to pump up my noodle in my head, here are the artists I have listened for the past five years.

2005: Kamikazee, Parokya Ni Edgar, Hale, Sponge Cola, 6cyclemind, The Fray, Orange and Lemons (now Kenyo), and other Original Pinoy Music artists.

2006: Kamikazee, Parokya Ni Edgar, Hale, Sponge Cola, 6cyclemind, My Chemical Romance, Green Day, Callalily, Linkin Park, Snow Patrol, U2, Muse and other Original Pinoy Music artists but during the 1980's because my classmates said so.

2007: Kamikazee, My Chemical Romance, Good Charlotte, Fall Out Boy, Sparta, The Fray, Vertical Horizon, Restless Heart, Alesana, Boys Like Girls, Silverstein, Matchbook Romance, Secondhand Serenade, Callalily, Sean Kingston, Jojo, The Hives, Rise Against, Coldplay, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Typecast and many more that I forgot.

2008: My Chemical Romance, Rise Against, Alesana, Chicosci, Coldplay, Sugarfree, Silverstein, Fall Out Boy, The Hoosiers, Rivermaya, Good Charlotte, Secondhand Serenade, The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, Wheatus, The Killers, Weezer, Lordi, Death Cab for Cutie and many more.

2009: The Killers, Placebo, Coldplay, Keane, Muse, Vertical Horizon, Restless Heart, Survivor, U2, Cheap Trick, Lordi, The Fray, White Lies, Death Cab for Cutie, Snow Patrol and more.

2010: The Killers, Placebo, Coldplay, Keane, Muse, U2, Vertical Horizon, Restless Heart, Survivor, Cheap Trick, Lordi, The Fray, Basshunter, Travis, Delphic, Crookers, Death Cab for Cutie, Snow Patrol, MIKA, Interpol, Starsailor, Weezer, J.R. Richards, R.E.M., Audioslave and more.

You see the transition of the way I like my music. From Original Pinoy Music, to the emotional rock/teen rock world, to the acoustic side, and now, to the alternative mainstream. Well, I have serened enough that the loudest genre can't coped me in and it's like you can't the essence or the feeling of the song if you scream. It's all horrible.

Anyway, here are my Top 5 songs so far.

5.) Invincible by Muse



4.) A Dustland Fairytale by The Killers



3.) Undisclosed Desires by Muse



2.) My Shadow by Keane



1.) Clear Skies by Keane



Again, Everything Alternative.

Earthquakes, Tsunamis, and Global Armageddon.

The year 2010, on its very first quarter, there are many horrendous calamities happened. Some are minor, some as major and some are extraordinary. January 11th of this year, I was having a beautiful start of my day, eating my breakfast when I turned into CNN and I was shocked on what happened. Haiti suffered a 7.0-magnitude earthquake and I thought of that day that Haiti had only approximately two to four million living around the said country and then, after a week of retrieval operations, thousands were injured and they estimated that the fatalities will be on the rise at about 200,000 dead bodies. Imagine, that's a great loss to the population in Haiti plus the fact that their buildings aren't high standard just like in Japan which is an eathquake-prone country and no buildings will collpased due to their modern technology of enhancement of buildings in the said developed country, unlike Haiti who is part of the "Third World" like our country used to be. I was devasted on what happened yet people still rejoicing for hope that they would raise their hands to the Lord and do a lot of singing in downtown Port-au-Prince. It was truly tragic and devastating seeing videos of miraculous rescues and this video says it all.

It was an awful New Year to all Haitians and the whole wide world was making pledges and they were helping those poor Haitians who are trapped, desperate for food, water, shelter, clothing, health assistances, et cetera.

I had the worst breakfast ever when that day passed by because of that earthquake. I watched CNN, BBC and local television stations in my country just to know the up-todate happenings in Haiti. It was getting worse and worse as days comes by as death toll rose.



Now, I went to the local mall yesterday with my sister and my mother, without my father due to his lame actions, texting on her textmate buddies or her chicks on text to be infact. We had a great time together but while we were doing that, there are people screaming and calling for help in downtown Santiago in Chile, in South America. An 8.8-magnitude earthquake strucked Chile yesterday at 3:34 a.m., their local time, I estimate that's (GMT -9). So, it's 16 hours late in our time. Actually, the epicenter is in Maule, it is near the capital Santiago. Oh men, there were 78 people killed when I watched it yesterday, now it rises to 250+ and I wonder how many dead bodies will belong to that list in the coming days? Unlike the earthquake in Haiti, their buildings are stronger and they have more GDP than Haiti so, Chile can assist their countrymen even without international aid.

If you can see these images right here, you will see the devastation and drought by the power of natural calamity. It's like a calling why we aren't taking care of the environment. It's also a calling that we are near to obtain "Global Cataclysm".







And just today, the Hawaii Meteorology Station declared a massive tsunami warning to the nations who are part of the "Ring of Fire", which are the west coast of North and South America, Japan, east coast of Russia, Taiwan, east coast of China, Indonesia, east coast of Australia, Indochina and yes, even, my country, the Philippines. Japan will mostly affect the tsunami alert and I saw it on CNN earlier where all of the red spots are on Japan and Russia, we only obtain the orange spots which is the Level two warning.

The outcome was so good to hear. Gladly, Japan had a small tsunami, and so as Russia, and the Philippines is also safe from the tsunami. We are prepared.

Natural calamities way back from last decade is still contusing up to this year and it might be a possible that we might end at the year 2012 where the "Global Cataclysm" might occur. Hope this will NOT happen.

"No matter what happens, we have the most powerful thing that a human being can do, prayers."

Jealousy and Seriousness.

Well, everytime I visit these social networking sites such as Twitter, Facebook and MySpace,I usually feel energized and feel up-to-date at the same time with my friends. 30% (thirty percent) on Facebook because of this following group of words, "I don't care about what is happening to you and my notifications is never-ending why...". Not to mention, playing applications, but it's just that when 60% (sixty percent) of my daily surfing is usually on Twitter because you can microblog yourself while updating yourself and yeah, you can stalk many celebrities as you want and like YouTube, you will be an easy star if you ruin one celebrity's personality, for instance is this video below:



It is in mixed emotions when I tweet, as well as everyone is tweeting. I just saw a lot of Twitter account who truly desires one of my favorite personalities. He just registered Twitter to ruin her soul badly and forced that said celebrity to delete her account. There are others that they commit to register to Twitter to chat only their favorite celebrity. That's how Twitter goes. If you truly know me, I am NOT a type of person who easily obsessed with celebrities and builds a massive fan bases... no, no, no, no, no... I am more of a student who truly obsessed with music and music alone, a future philanthropist but since I finally getting how to use this Twitter thingy, I get to know more celebrities.

Well, here goes the jealousy part. When I visit their profile pages, they are requesting to follow them yet, they are not giving back via reply or something that is useful to communicate. I know it is hard to reply tens of thousands of fans admiring you and it is understandable but I just take it when I didn't get one. Also, I envy this guy and this gal right here. What they have in common? They are the officers of a group fan bases (which I usually don't participate when it is outside, but okay in the forums only). Also, she followed the two of them and I said, "Wow, how lucky are they... I wish I can get mine..." I always dreaming about my favorite people as in everyday in my life, not exactly every night but in similar occasions. I am always dreaming that she will focus to me all the time...

Call me crazy at this point because I already felt this kind of feeling way back year 2005 where I was truly obsessed with a girl who dumped me for cheating. So, I just wish that I deserved to be followed but I know it is okay, because I am just a simple fan and being envious to the people that they know and chatting through their entire profile pages bragging for no reason.

This is horrendous.