The equation 10 + 28 +2010 = 18 is computable.

Time: 12:47 p.m.
Where: In my bedroom.
Now Playing: "It's Working" by MGMT.



---



Mathematically, no but, when it comes in time and space, it is sort of computable. Making this a figure of speech for nothing. Pretty self-explanatory on that said made-up formula, making myself horrendous. Anyway, today is my 18th birthday and I must admit, I am NOT that mature when it comes to responsibilities inside and outside our household but I am getting there to be a responsible guy at all task and I am trying to be a social companion and socially healthy as well. You see, I am a type of person who is an anti-socialite, it's not that I am "the loner", it's such that, I don't feel to talk to people because we lack of similarities that's all and I want to change that, I wanted my friends to see that I am trying to know them and not the loser kid of yesterday (during high school days where I used to get yanked and bullied by other people bigger than me and screwed me up). I was totally a high-tempered person at that time because they used to tease me things that they see in me physically, which is a horrendous things to do. I wanted to change that as well, the old hot-headed Ralph, will be the patient and more confident Ralph of tomorrow, Hopefully.

Another wish for my birthday is for my family. I hope that my mother will find a way to surpass our problem. You see, I am currently in hiatus right now but I am still learning, thank you, Internet and my mom let my sister to finish college so that she can get a job and then let me go back in shape. In addition, I have scoliosis, I used to suffer something and I can't breathe normally because my right lung can't gather more air in exchange and my left is doing all the work and some back aches, that's why I am in hiatus from hard wok learning. It's sad and painful to know it last year after three terms in Mapua, one of my dream schools to enter. I just wish that my mother will be okay at all times because she's always tired at work and I understand her, a lot. Everyday, I am always thinking of things like (Did my mother already eat? Is she home already?) Questions of concern in her part. On my sister, that I hope she surpasses every single task, one at the time, grabe, kasi, sa bahay, yes, lagi ko siyang parang inaasar and she used to pummel me and parang hindi serious on her side everything she says in every experience in Letran, parang hindi interesado parang wala lang, (that's my alter ego, being a crazy dude), pero inside, I am concerned too as well kasi lagi siyang puyat, hindi na nakakauwi at laging maginagawa, halos walang pahinga. That's why I helped some of her work (I am such a good brother). And sa dad ko, Dad please, sana maibalik mo ang dati Papa na nakilala ko. Too complicated to tell and I don't want to broaden up some details. That's my wish for my beloved family. To my other one's na sana lagi silang safe.

Did some wishes for myself, my friends and my loved ones. Now to my extraordinary wishes (Sana matupad balang araw before I die, I am still compiling this every year I celebrate my day).

- Sana I obtain a Manchester United Home Kit.
- I wish I have a PS3 or XBOX 360 right now falling from the sky.
- Hopefully to meet every single "ultimate crushes" I had (Celebrity ones, not from my high school days, I will not enumerate them all, ang dami but I would like to mention this girl).
-And lastly, an operation to be cured on my Adolescent Idiopathic Scoliosis.

I guess that is all for now, my day is like any other day this year, like last year's, where I used to be a busy boy in all task in Mapua during that day with my Diagnostic test, I still remember that day. Well, I just wish again, to have more birthdays to come to experience life even more. Now, if you excuse me, I have some Oasis songs to enjoy. Good day to all and thanks for the greetings, Appreciated it.

---

Time: 1:49 p.m.
Where: Still in my bedroom.
Now Playing: "Dance in the Dark" by Lady Gaga. (seriously, I like this song even though it's from Gaga and the only song I like from her, It's like Pet Shop Boys sound and Madonna way of singing in one).

My Hunger for Learning.

Time: 1:56 a.m.
Where: In my bedroom.
Now Playing: "Radioactive" by Kings of Leon.



---

Well, it's been 10 months now of useless vacation for me since I chose to rest my body from hardwork learning in Mapua for 6 months straight and it was a sign that I was making myself late for the others and it was hard to lose grip on something I need. It's like a race to the finish where I need to cross the white line and it will be mission accomplished but my current stature, physically, mentally and probably socially are not enough to beat those other guys and got the upper hand advantage wise.

I felt like a jerk because I have this Scoliosis and dealing it for years and years and if you ask me, if you have this, it's hard to deal life. Seriously. You can't breathe properly at one time and have low condition of you're running or if your are lifting something that heavy. That's where I suffered during my first months as a college student back then.



Again, I felt like a jerk why I pushed my limitations and go to the school that can cause me too much pressure, health-wise and mental wise. A sheer embarrassment on my side to be here loafing around while I am seeing some of my friends' statuses on Facebook about their goals, heartbreaks in learning and success it it (e.g., Ang galing ko, naiapasa ko ang MATH23 ngayon pero sure fail ako sa PHY15 nito bukas kasi hindi ako nagreview). Like that. I am so envious to them and the feeling of achievement is BIG in sight.

In 10 months, I am trying to still learn. Reading some of my books on Plane and Spherical Trigonometry, Solid Mensuration and more. Also, I am learning online, some random quizzes in random college courses. Trying to exercise my brain and not to be a loser to myself because I was inspired on that blog I saw last week about a graduating student this year, and he's not just a graduating one, a Suma Cum Laude one. I read his graduating speech and said that he was one of the victims of procrastination of his high school and early college days where he used to fail. He wasn't at that point, a serious student and then he pursued harder that he deserve and now, he's at the top. A proof that education is for everyone and failing is just a natural instinct to every student. We can rise up again from the grave.

there will come a day for next year, after my sister graduated, then, it's my turn to come back. I will be back in Manila but I am NOT sure if in Intramuros Walls again or in other district. We'll see. The return is near upon me.

---

Time: 2:09 a.m.
Where: Still in my bedroom.
Now Playing: "Sweet Disposition" by The Temper Trap.